The hand you are given
by Naga Lord
Summary: A game of cards bring them all together. And who will walk home with the female in question?


The sun was shining fluffily, the birds were singing fluffily , and fluffy sparkles filled the air with it's fluffy existents…

The sun was shining fluffily, the birds were singing fluffily, and fluffy sparkles filled the air with it's fluffy existents…

"I know you're cheating!"

"Feh! You just can't take losing!"

"Yeah? So where did all those seven aces come from, huh?"

"It came with skill, you damn woman!"

"Skill in what? Bad cheating?" Kagome narrowed her eyes.

"But I guess that is what you do best, huh."

"Now, listen here…"

"SIT!"

Miroku sighted heavily as he took a new deck of cards.

"You are both cheating," he said tiredly. _But then again, so am I._

Inuyasha and Kagome threw each other angry looks.

"Hmmm, is this really fun?" Sango asked over their shoulders as she watched the colourful cards spilled out all over the ground. She threw the Hiraikotsu of her shoulder, smashing Shippo in the process, a faint squashing sound being heard.

"It depends on who you play it with," Kagome grunted, eyeing the dog darkly. Inuyasha snorted.

"Feh."

Sango took in the view, understanding the situation perfectly.

"So he cheated?"

"All the time!"

"Now look here..!"

"Sit."

"Sorry Kagome, leaving you with these cheaters for so long."

"What did I do?" Miroku asked with eyes sparkling of innocence. Two cold judging eyes where pinning him down. Well, it wasn't like he really had to ask…

"You're just a really sore loser, Kagome. I far exceed you, and you know it!" Inuyasha was grinning, smile full superiority .

"Fine," Kagome said and stood up. "I will just run away from you and that rotten attitude of yours, and throw myself in the arms of your brother." Inuyasha snorted.

"You do that," he said, waving her of without looking up from his cards. "He will kill you without as much as a second thought. And that is half brother."

"On the contrary, my stupid fool of a brother." Much to all of their surprise, Sesshomaru walked into the clearing where they all were gathered.

"I have always wanted her. In fact, that's why I have come now. To put my claim on her." Sesshomaru had placed himself next to his slow-minded unwanted brother. Making sure to put just the right mix of contempt and superiority in his cold and hateful gaze.

Inuyasha threw himself up. Breathing his foul breath that so insulted his brother's sensitive nostrils. Toothpaste wasn't really in fashion at this day and age. And as he glared his worst, he pointed one clawed finger at the future girl.

"You want that ugly, uncaring, evil-minded, small-hearted, unable-to-play-cards-correctly and bad-at-losing female as your mate?!"

"Inuyasha. Sit." Kagome had taken fort her yellow bag and was handing Shippo a lollipop and bandages. She herself was sipping on a coke.

Sesshomaru watched with great contempt as his half-breed brother ate the dirt a human so nicely had given him.

"You are truly undignified, hanyou. And your taste is clearly as bad as your mind capacity is low. Are your senses truly so bad that you can't even see the beauty of the female that is so clearly before you? Pitiful scum." Sesshomaru slammed one of his feet over Inuyasha's head, rubbing his face thoroughly in the ground.

"Never mind, half breed. I will take her from you anyway."

"But, Sesshomaru-sama," Miroku asked. "I thought you ran with Rin?" The others nodded, they to wondering. Sesshomaru snorted in contempt (which he by now was very good at) and pierced the monk with his gaze of frozen fire.

"Do not take me for a paedophile, human! She is my charge and my responsibility. I will wait until she gets older!"

"Then what about Kagome?" Sango blurted, amazed.

"Well, of course," the taiyokai explained knowingly. "Since the expiration date of humans are very short and in just some few years this beautiful blessing from God will be a wrinkled old hag, the most sane and wise thing to do would be to throw out the old and ugly for the young and fresh."

_So he will two-time her too…_ Sango concluded.

Miroku stood up and properly faced the taiyokai.

"Sesshomaru-sama. I have greatly misjudged you!" His eyes turned into big brown sparkles. In great admiration he grabbed the taiyokai's hands.

"You are clearly a man of great wisdom. I bow to your great mind and superiority!"

"You will bow to me in pieces, human scum, if you do not let go of this Sesshomaru's hands!" The monk's eyes lit up in a whole new light.

"Even that is great with you! Just watching you like this, I feel that I have found enlightenment!"

"Kouga," Kagome muttered to herself as she dug through her big yellow bag full of things you don't need or want to carry around on, as you go and hunt for great evil. "Maybe I should just settle for Kouga…"

And out from nowhere, greatly startling them all and popping up in clouds of smoke that evil things always do pop up from in badly written stories, Naraku appeared. Like the evil scum he was, he came without an invitation or a courtesy gift. He was in truth evil!

"Aha! And here you all are gathered so nicely together. Good. I will now take your bodies and make them mine. Well, except for the humans. You are useless to me. And the little fox yokai. Such an ugly weakling. Neither do I want the catdemon. And not Inuyasha either. I find you ugly. But the rest of you all! I will make you mine! Buwah ha ha ha haaa. Snort."

"Doesn't that only leave Sesshomaru?" Sango asked Kagome who just shrugged.

"More tee?" She asked instead and the yokai-exterminator gratefully held out her cup.

"Naraku, you bastard!" Inuyasha growled. "You didn't bring a present this time either!"

"You are indeed a simpleton if you think the likes of you can even lay a tentacle on this Sesshomaru."

"Let's finish this game already," Kagome sighted. She had just made sure that she had all of the best cards while the others where elsewhere engaged.

"Isn't that cheating?" Shippo wondered.

"Don't asked," Sango advised.

"I will have you all!" Naraku shouted. "Except those I have already clearly stated I do not want. But first!" A long ugly tentacle captured Kagome and pulled her high into the air.

"Inuyasha! Watch how your female will be killed by the hands of me. Again!"

"Feh. Doesn't matter. I still have another if this one died. That is the beauty of cheating."

"Ahh, but you don't see," Naraku happily informed him. "I have already killed that other woman. I did so before coming here!"

"Stuuuuupid!" Inuyasha said and stuck out his pink tongue. "She's made out of dirt. I can remake her from any sandbox I choose. Actually, I'm having such a hard time making up who I really want because Kikyo is dead and I feel like I owe her, so it would actually help me out if you killed Kagome too. Then I would owe them both! That way, I would be able to choose. Kill away. I don't mind."

Naraku looked oddly sad and disappointed.

"It really takes away my joy when you say things like that."

"Great Inuyasha" Sango lectured. "Now you made him cry!"

"I am not crying!" the great mass of evil shouted as tears ran down his eyes. Snot was hanging loosely from his cute nose.

"Fine, you stupid hanyou dog. I will not kill this female! Ha! Serves you right! I will just take her to my evil castle, corrupt her with the dark shikon jewel, and then make her MY woman. HA! Feel that!"

Kagome put her chin in her hand and studied the evil hanyou closely as she hang in his tentacle grip. Taking note of all his snot, the fact that he wore makeup and that he too, didn't brush his teeth.

Kouga. Maybe she really should just go for Kouga….

oooOOOooo

Sorry guys. I know I totally trashed the characters in this one. I just couldn't help myself. .

If you hated it, you are free to tell me so. I don't mind.

If it's not clear, I felt like making fun of some of the possible parings and "up-hooking" that is out there in cyber-space.

I'm not even sure if it's funny…

So, please tell me your thoughts.

But really. The people in the real story do cheat a lot… But still they are totally loyal and true.

A mystery.


End file.
